This weekend, people who love liberty and semiautomatic weapons, which are the same thing, actually, gathered in cities across U.S. America for a “Day Of Resistance,” organized on 2/23 to commemorate the heroic freedom-loving service of .223 caliber rounds fired by AR-15 semiautomatic rifles. These innocent bullets have recently had their love of freedom unfairly maligned, simply because a few hundred of them were propelled at high velocity — without their consent, although it should be noted that they performed according to their design specifications — through the flesh and bones of twenty small children and six of their teachers in December. Organizers of the event considered the choice of date “clever.”
Depending on location, the rallies were either a Huge Success or a Total Failure. Numbers are hard when a gun-related event doesn’t leave any corpses behind, so let’s say that overall turnout nationwide was somewhere between a few thousand and a million. Your Doktor Zoom attended the rally at the Idaho Statehouse in Boise, and can confirm that there were a few hundred people inside, the vast majority of them armed. No one was shot, not even the guy wearing a “Wonkette” sticker on his windbreaker, so that proves guns are not a problem and liberals are irrationally afraid of freedom.
- The pseudonymous Doktor Zoom, writing for the aggressively liberal and consistently entertaining blog Wonkette, regarding a contrived, somewhat insensitive, and utterly pointless gun-appreciation event held in Idaho on the 23rd.
For some grade-A political commentary, witticism, and satire, look no farther than Wonkette.