This Week In Sexual Repression: The Latest Assault On Women Being Naked

Silhouette_of_Stripper_on_a_Pole.svgIn the latest assault against our sexy civil liberties and the right of women to objectify themselves as they wish for money, by one who has decided that restricting the nakedness of women would surely be best for what collectively ails us in this country, and whose life would likely remain unchanged whether the far right succeeds in its effort to take control of women’s ladyparts by mandating chastity belts be worn at all social functions, or not, Texas State Representative Bill Zedler (R-The Colonies) has had an idea:

State Rep. Bill Zedler, R-Arlington, has filed a bill to require employees at sexually oriented businesses – including dancers – to get a license and display it while working.

The conservative lawmaker said he hopes the measure, if it passes, might encourage women to find another line of work.

“They won’t want to get a license as a stripper from the state of Texas,” Zedler said of his legislation. “I think it would keep a lot of girls from getting involved in that lifestyle and basically wrecking their lives.

Well good, at least he’s not being overly judgmental about it. Will there be dumb and time-wasting requirements put in place as obstacles to getting said license, like maybe some McDonald’s-employee-training-style instruction?

Zedler’s bill, which also requires those getting licenses at sexually oriented businesses to take a class about human trafficking, appears to be the first proposal addressing sexually oriented businesses that has been filed for the 83rd Legislative Session, which begins today.

Sounds like we’re all set, then! What could possibly go wrong?

“[The bill] may be overshadowed by other big conservative issues like school vouchers, education funding, Medicaid,” said Allan Saxe, an associate political science professor at the University of Texas at Arlington. “However, it has been announced by some Republican leaders that this session will be very conservative, so this may be one ‘side’ issue that they may be willing to bring up and consider.

Whew! Good, I was getting worried this session wouldn’t be conservative enough. Besides, no one really wanted to do anything about education funding anyway, right?

The human trafficking angle of the bill likely could generate support, but that may not be enough, said Mark P. Jones, a political science professor at Rice University in Houston.

Especially, he said, because some will oppose the measure for “being puritanical,” and others will oppose it for boosting government oversight of private businesses.

Sweet Mary and Joseph, why would they think that?

Zedler, who was among those more than a decade ago who formed Decency for Arlington to try to prevent a Hooters restaurant from opening near their Arlington neighborhood, said he filed the bill this year after talking to a woman at church about her daughter, who began waiting tables at a sexually oriented business and ultimately moved on to stripping, drugs and prostitution.

A solid enough case to restrict the rights of everyone to work in a nominally victimless enterprise if I’ve ever heard one. Thank the Lord God on high, for a minute there I was worried this bill was based on personal ideology and religious doctrine. (I wonder what would happen if next Sunday a mother were to speak to the good state senator about her son, who began as an altar boy at their local Catholic church and ultimately moved on to being diddled by the priest? What would require a license THEN?)

[T]he bill states that anyone who receives a license would have to wear it while doing their job — including dancers.

“They could wear it around the neck … or on their shoes … or attached to a head band,” Zedler suggested.

Whoa…that’s so freaking hot…I had to stop reading… Can you imagine how turned on you’d get when a stripper comes up to your table and shows you her…license?!

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4 comments
    • kipp said:

      It would certainly seem so – and worse, they’re electing them to public office.

  1. kjds said:

    Buahahaha! Hilarious!

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