The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.
– Dave Barry
I know it doesn’t quite work with this, since the NRA isn’t a part of the federal government – yet/officially – but seeing as how it exists as a corollary of and in symbiotic opposition to the federal government, I felt the quote was apropos.
What I’m referring to is this. This, as has been widely reported, is too good to be true. This is what gets me out of bed in the morning. This is a steal at twice the price, and so good, it must be fattening. As reported by MSNBC:
The powerful gun lobby has posted what amounts to an enemies list on its website, and the neverending lineup includes scores upon scores of individual and groups that the NRA sees as hostile to gun rights. The list has more than 500 names, including women’s groups, law enforcement organizations, former presidents and A–list celebs.
As they say ’round the Bluth household, this is ripe for parody – this is ripe! Such entertainment should really cost more money – if you’re good at something, never do it for free. But there it is, right on their website – for free. Here’s what Daily Kos had to say, in one of the best characterizations of this tasty morsel of news:
The actual list is broken into multiple parts: There are political organizations the NRA hates, specific people (mostly celebrities and journalists) the NRA hates, and companies the NRA hates. Continue reading below the fold for a very, very small sampler from among the hundreds of entries.
American Civil Liberties Union
American Medical Association
American Bar Association
American Jewish Committee
College Democrats of America
League of Women Voters
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
National Education Association
National Organization for Women
National Spinal Cord Injury Association
That’s just the tiniest sampler—by the time you’ve run through the whole thing, I think you’ve probably covered almost everyone in America. All right, what about specific named individuals?
Louis Anderson – Comedian
Maya Angelou – Poet
Richard Dreyfus – Actor
Art Garfunkel – Singer
Leonard Nimoy – Actor
Mary Lou Retton – Former Olympian
Jerry Seinfeld – Actor
Patrick Stewart – Actor
Dick Van Dyke – Actor
Y’all are nuts, NRA. I mean that sincerely. Is there really someone at NRA headquarters who’s been compiling this list and thinking to themselves “take that, Mary Lou Retton!” Probably so. As for specific companies on the NRA poop list, they include Hallmark Cards (who presumably don’t have enough cards saying things like “sorry I accidentally shot you” or “roses are red, come on my property again and you’re dead”), the Kansas City Chiefs, Sara Lee, Stoneyfield Farms Yogurt (um, what?), CBS, the Christian Science Monitor, PBS and Motorcycle Cruiser Magazine (those bastards). So anyway, just a heads-up. You’re probably all on the list too. Or would be, except the NRA higher-ups haven’t really discovered the internet yet, and they’re too preoccupied anyway, what with fighting off Hallmark and Maya Angelou.
To give credit where it’s due, I was first alerted to the list by a post on The Secular Jurist.